Chatting With Mom

You know those days when you feel you just can't accomplish anything?  Today was one of those days.  The weekend...well it was a busy one.  Filled with a dance competition in Ottawa on Saturday, a birthday party on Saturday night and more dance activities on Sunday... and, to top it all off, Ian was working in the field most of that time so it was just the kids and I!  I was exhausted!

 

 

Monday morning rolled around and the to-do list was full of cleaning, checking and replying to emails, swimming lessons, errands (there are always errands) and cleaning the house.  Ugh.  By the middle of the afternoon I felt like I had done nothing productive and the kids would be getting off the bus soon and we would head off to Alex's last night of basketball.  Every time I turned around there was something else to throw me off track.  Then my mom called.  We chatted for a while; I got caught up on the news from "home" and then my negativity started about how I'm accomplishing so little these days.  I complained about how my house is so dirty, we haven't done any home renovations recently and I can't imagine when or how it will all get done. 

Then she gave me her thoughts.  She reminded me of what I actually did this weekend - I was with our children, providing them with amazing experiences that will last a lifetime.  THAT is my job right now and I easily forget how important that job is.  She told me that the dust will always be there but these moments with the kids won't be.  Oh how I needed to hear that - to be reminded about how amazing our life really is and how lucky we are that we can provide such awesome experiences for our children.  Thanks mom!  We need to chat more often.

 



It's a Jungle Out There

I felt an emotional tug this afternoon as I watched our children step off the bus.  It was a rainy afternoon so I drove to the end of the laneway and waited for them to hop in to the van.  Usually they are rambunctious, hungry, have stories to tell me and many times they are arguing with eachother over who gets to sit in the front, who gets to tell their story first and who gets to sit in my lap and drive back to the house (a little fun for farm kids with long laneways).  Today, though, Jean got off the bus with a defeated, very sad look on her face.  She was just a hair away from crying and it was the first thing I saw.  She got into the van crying very loudly as she tried her best to keep Alex out of the front even though he wanted to sit with her on the passenger seat.  I could just tell there was more to her cry than what he was doing... I could feel it.  As we started driving down the lane, I asked her if anything else was wrong and she quickly told me her story.  It is a common story in her life right now.  A girl in her class and also on the bus was mean to her and Jean gave me some details.  My heart breaks for her - she has struggled many, many times with this one girl but there are other accounts of her struggles with others as well.  I can just imagine what lies ahead for her in the coming years.  Luckily though, once she told me about her day, the issue vanished and she seemed fine.  She had a very big snack and relaxed on the couch for a little while.  Then she carried on with her usual antics of finding some flamboyant outfit, putting it on and prancing around the house.  Our little Jean was in a great mood once again.

After supper I headed out to a much anticipated workshop on the "Complexities of the Social Jungle:  How we Anchor Children Towards Growing Resilience"; presented by Darlene Denis-Friske BA, CYW, CYC.  http://www.neufeldinstitute.com/blog/author/darlene-denis-friske/. 
What perfect timing.  I have just discovered her website and will be a frequent visitor.
I have heard her speak in the past and I find she speaks straight to my heart.  Tonight there was more than once instance where I had to hold back my tears.  Everything she says makes sense to me.  I can't possibly go into detail about the workshop tonight because I still need to process it myself.  I was doing my best explaining it to Ian afterwards but even that was disjointed.  I will list my "take-away" thoughts and maybe it will help me remember and instill what I heard:

• Ian and I are doing a great job!  I have to list this point first so that on days where I feel we have failed our children, I can go back and read this and know that we are on the right track.  We are not perfect and I make many, many mistakes but overall we are creating a solid anchor for them and we know what is important.  I will NEVER regret staying at home with our children -EVER!  I want to be there for them whenever they need us and we know that sometimes we don't realize when those moments present themselves. 
• We have a busy life.  Between the farm, meetings and the kid's activities, we are a busy crew but one of my favourite moments during the day is when they return from school.  I love being able to walk down the lane (on nice days) and just chat with them about their day and listen to their stories, good and bad.  Once we get in the house, though, it can quickly change.  Chaos can strike and that moment of connection can fade away.  I am realizing how valuable those moments are... we are lucky.
• Sometimes (most of the time, actually) all we need to do is listen to our children.  They don't always need us to come up with solutions to their problems; they can come up with solutions themselves but just need someone to listen.
• The adults in our children's life are very important.  As parents, we are the most important and the most impressive.  They need us to support them and bring them back to themselves.  We create the boundaries, rules and guidelines and we need to remember that.  Friends are important but family is the most important.  Their heart always needs to be with us when they are children.

I have always enjoyed child psychology and learning the best ways to communicate with children.  I want to give any child I come into contact with some positive vibes and support - not just my own three kids.  I highly (and I mean HIGHLY) recommend taking the time to learn and reflect on how we as adults, can guide our children through their childhood and beyond.  It's a jungle out there!

 

Milestones to be Cherished

As parents, we like to celebrate milestones in our children's lives.  Big or small, they are to be cherished and remembered because time is literally flying past.  I don't have a great memory for exactly when our children hit certain milestones but I do remember the feeling I had, how it brings tears to my eyes both happy and sad.  Pride always fills my heart.

Alex is now officially riding his bike, confidently, without training wheels!  At 6.5 years old, it was time!  We have such a great place for the kids to ride their bikes around and I've always dreamed of them riding around the farm having some independent fun.  For Alex the time had to be right.  Last summer Ian took his training wheels off but he wasn't very keen on riding without them attached.  This spring we really encouraged him to try again and we both spent some time running behind his bike, holding on to his seat!  Last evening though I was running behind him, lightly holding on and realized he didn't really need me anymore.  He took off on his own!  We are so proud of him - and I am excited to go for family bike rides on our road with all three kids.

 

Our Experience: Ontario's Outstanding Young Farmer Program

 

Ian and I have been fortunate to have an experience of a lifetime.  We have always had this little dream in the back of our minds but were not sure if we would ever actually have the opportunity to participate but this winter we were given the chance to be a part of Ontario's Outstanding Young Farmer Award.  It began with a nomination from our area OFA (Ontario Federation of Agriculture) organization.  We were then invited to complete a very intense application process (submitted the day before we left for our Florida vacation) which resulted in being chosen as one of six farming couples who were given the opportunity to go to Guelph in late March.  We told our families and friends and there was no doubt they were all proud and most wanted the chance to be at the banquet in Guelph to celebrate with us.

 

Our Cheering Squad:  Words cannot describe how loved we felt that night.  Our family and friends, who have been with us from the start, were there to celebrate with us. 

 

 

 

So what was this all about?

The OYF (Outstanding Young Farmer) Program celebrates the best that agriculture has to offer in our country.  Couples/business partners/Individuals, no older than 40 years, are nominated and then progress through an application process, interview and presentation.  Once we proceeded through the application process, which is a very indepth description of our farming operation, our goals, our community involvement and basically what makes us special to the farming industry, we had to put together a presentation of our business and farming life together.  This was initially presented to a group of judges (prominent people in the agriculture industry) and then presented at the evening banquet. 

 

Special Note:  Aunt Janie was instrumental in making our presentation successful.  We could not have done it without her!

 

We met some amazing people - other inspirational farmers - winery/vineyard owners, meat producers, dairy farmers and cash croppers.  We were all different yet similar in our belief that agriculture is an awesome industry and we wouldn't want to be doing anything else with our life.  Not only are we all passionate about agriculture but our values in family life are similar as well. 

 

 

 

As with any competition, there is a winner and our new friends, the Thatchers, hold the honour of Ontario's Outstanding Young Farmers.  They began their own farm business from the grassroots and it is now a thriving business.  Everyone has a special story -that's why they we were there - and sharing our experiences was the best part. 

We feel so fortunate to have been part of the OOYF program.